lavinialuna

  I am the mother of 4 beautiful children (13, 7, 4, and 1) and married to an amazing man, but we are struggling to make ends meet.  My husband is a disabled artist and I myself have severe nerve damage due to an epidural I had delivering my third child.  It became infected with staph and I have been suffering ever since.  I also have bulging discs, which does not help.  The entire right half of my body is effected with pain and numbness, crippling at times.  It has also brought on symptoms much like Fibromyalgia and massive migraine and cluster headaches that nearly blow me off the planet.  I fight depession and have even been diagnosed agoraphobic as I feel I have been forced to retreat inside of my shell by the pain and weakness, afraid of going anywhere alone, I feel defensless.  The infection effected my heart damaging one of my valves, and it will need to be replaced eventually.   I sadly have had to apply for disabilty because I could no longer do my job of 15 years (hair stylist) due to pain and constant discomfort.  In fact I suffer so much of the time at this point, unless I can find some kind of medical treatment to control the pain, I am unable to do any job.  I have been denied by disability twice and am awaiting my trial, and although I respect the people appointed to be in charge of Social Security, I wish they could see my pain, or feel it for themselves, be me for just one day.  In the mean time we are struggling financially and are barely getting by, by the skin of our teeth.  We have had to use our credit cards to help us stay afloat (and I am talking essentials only), yet they are the very thing pulling us under, a catch 22.  If we don't use them, we can't afford to pay for them and so on.  My hope and dream is to pay them off so we could be rid of them forever.

Things keep breaking, our van, our air conditioning, our van again (and again and again) and the stress of the anvil being dropped is more than I can bear. 

I pray everyday for God to help us, to provide for us who can't provide for ourselves.  God is good and He has brought us this far.  I just need to put my trust in him.